Yet another Hacker News

71 points NaOH 1 day ago 36 comments

abstractspoon 1 day ago | parent

I'm not Downs but I have a personality disorder such that I've always felt different. I'm 60 now and yet to meet anyone, M or F, who seems remotely like me. I was married, didn't end well, and have a daughter who doesn't talk to me. I live every day bathed in the knowledge that I am utterly alone in the world, despite having 2 close female friends. It has always been this way. It will always be this way. I try to live a quiet secluded life.

DiggyJohnson 1 hour ago | parent

Thanks for sharing. You described the situation well imo, wish you the best

booty 1 hour ago | parent

Is it a recognized personality disorder?

(I'm guessing "no" but a lot of recognized conditions have huge variance in individuals, so having a recognized personality disorder also isn't a guarantee that there will be others with a similar mindset...)

More importantly, I wish you peace and happiness. It's a difficult hand to be dealt...

LoganDark 1 hour ago | parent

Many individuals also have more than one personality disorder. I have a partner with bipolar + borderline + OCPD and a bunch of other stuff. I have a fair few too (borderline and OCPD at least).

Based on a hunch, GP may potentially find similar minds on 4chan

enjoyyourlife 6 minutes ago | parent

Your HN user profile and https://morethanone.info are fascinating to me but I don't think that it's a good idea to promote 4chan here

Hnrobert42 57 minutes ago | parent

This sounds very difficult. There are so many people who live with loneliness. It reminds me of the "Tin Man" episode of Star Trek TNG.

I wish you well and hope you find your Tan Elbrun.

tokai 53 minutes ago | parent

A personality disorder have nothing to do with Downs. One is a genetic disorder and the other is a maladaptive pattern of affect.

himata4113 48 minutes ago | parent

End result is the same though? Cause vs effect.

himata4113 46 minutes ago | parent

I was lucky enough to know that all I need is presence in my life. I don't really care for interaction or romance.

Remember that having children, getting married, living a fulfilling life is just the status quo and not the path your life has take. Be or do whatever makes you happy as long as you're not harming others.

Might be a bit late, but it's all about the ride and leaving something behind for others to enjoy is a nice extra.

jareklupinski 13 minutes ago | parent

> I've always felt different

visit new york city's lower east side

everyone here is different :)

origini 1 hour ago | parent

Its a nice article and a positive one.

Unfortuna another documentary about people with Down Syndrome were more heartbreaking. A young girl got told from a doctor that not only shouldn't she get to try pregnant, the chance is very low already and that she has other medical concerns she needs to handle.

Not something she could handle without a proper care taker though.

geertj 37 minutes ago | parent

To add a factoid without expressing an opinion: women with Down syndrome are often fertile while men typically are not. The odds of the offspring of a female with trisomy 21 having the same trisomy are 50% theoretically, and between 33-40% in practice due to trisomy embryos having a higher rate of spontaneous miscarriage.

gadders 22 minutes ago | parent

This chap pops up on social media occasionally: https://metro.co.uk/2019/10/20/man-shares-what-it-was-like-t...

(Not to say that anything you say is incorrect).

bobthebuilder4 35 minutes ago | parent

They absolutely shouldn't try to get pregnant, they'll be incapable of looking after the child.

InsideOutSanta 26 minutes ago | parent

People with Down syndrome aren't all the same. The highest measured IQ of a person with Down syndrome in a scientific study was 117:

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3707311/

Having said that, men with Down syndrome are generally infertile anyway.

bobthebuilder4 17 minutes ago | parent

Yes, there might be exceptions, but the averages in that article make my argument for me.

rustyhancock 12 minutes ago | parent

Downs syndrome is indeed highly heterogeneous, one of the sadder aspects is the accelerated dementia specifically Alzheimer's.

I've known a few people with Dawn's syndrome and the striking often abrupt and rapid tragectory is shocking.

As much as the slow decline of dementia that it's often incidents months apart before things fall apart. Is sad.

So is it in people with Downs syndrome when at 35 their often bright and cheerful life loving demeanor seems to vanish over the course of a few months.

As I understand it it's because chromosome 21 carries the genes associated with Alzheimer's so they get an extra copy, but also structure issues with the brain, increased risk of sleep apnea and other toxic conditions.

WarmWash 7 minutes ago | parent

"Not all car crashes are the same. People sometimes live because they weren't wearing a seatbelt."

The point of these statements is to make an outlier appear as if it is part of the norm. They're bad statements to make, because at heart they are just misleading.

boxed 48 minutes ago | parent

> But because he has Down syndrome, someone told him he’s different.

Down Syndrome is a quite serious genetic abnormality, pretending it's not with silly statements like "someone told him he's different" is absurd.

john_strinlai 40 minutes ago | parent

>Down Syndrome is a quite serious genetic abnormality, pretending it's not

if you can get past the title, you'll see that this article is not doing that.

gchamonlive 39 minutes ago | parent

It's absurd is being told you are different dismissively and not constructively. It's easy and convenient to dismiss people based on their needs, but true value lies in including everyone meeting them where they are.

avazhi 44 minutes ago | parent

> But because he has Down syndrome, someone told him he’s different.

Yes, and him being different is a statement of fact. Stop pretending low IQ is something to be celebrated or ignored.

InsideOutSanta 38 minutes ago | parent

I don't know why people don't understand this, but something being true doesn't mean it can't also be hurtful, and it doesn't mean it has to be said. Gabe clearly already knows that he is different; there's absolutely no point in telling him this, other than to hurt him.

dcss_gardener 32 minutes ago | parent

Ah but they do understand this. They just like hurting people.

n6242 21 minutes ago | parent

"You're not wrong, Walter, you're just an asshole." (The Big Lebowski)

lanfeust6 12 minutes ago | parent

There's a gulf of difference between burying/hiding truth and going out of your way to unnecessarily bring up a fact that serves no good purpose in context.

All of which to say, you can affirm it by being a dick, but that's not the only way to acknowledge the truth. Nor should we pretend the facts aren't there.

black_knight 34 minutes ago | parent

We are all different, and have different challenges in life to overcome. That’s life, as they say. You, for instance, have your prejudges to struggle with.

The question is how we all deal with these challenges, and how we meet people who are different from ourselves. I think it is important that we don’t put each other down, or judge based on our assumptions of what a person’s differences entails. Meeting people as individuals, and imagine other people complexly. And cheering on each other as we each overcome our challenges.

thomassmith65 19 minutes ago | parent

I'll disregard that advice unless he runs for political office, and then only if the incumbent is noticeably smarter.

conductr 16 minutes ago | parent

“We’re different, we’re the same” is a sesame street illustrated book that would clear things up quickly. Helped us explain the concept to our then 3 year old. Reinforcing the idea of celebrating the differences, we all have them, and not judging anyone else for theirs.

ramon156 11 minutes ago | parent

Reading the room helps, which you seem pretty bad at.

Something can be true, and you don't need to point that out

nrjames 14 minutes ago | parent

I have a friend who has a 501(c)(3) that makes really nice documentaries about people with Down syndrome, focusing on the positive influences they have on other people in their lives. They're on YouTube. Here's one I watched recently:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9dCzejMK9jU

This is the non-profit:

https://www.storiesmadewithlove.com